oops, i apologize

although you slightly irritated me today

I still want more..

seventy bucks richer

but today has literally kicked my ass. So, there was this Hip Hop convention, or whatever the fuck you call it, and my work was packed at the most awkward hour. Being that at that time, we only had three or so servers, and, well, people kept walking in, and seating themselves, service stalled and therefore it reflected on my performance. Or. Serving. Whatever. Either way, I worked an extra hour, and came into contact with the most rude and seemingly unhappy group of grown (in every aspect, if you know what I mean) men who apparently also lacked common courtesy of tipping appropriately (no, FUCK no would I ever listen to your shitty demo)

Speaking of, I left over 30+ demo cd's at work. I'm not even kidding. Maybe even more. Dem Flo, Ruff Slack, Yung Rill, I made all of those up but you get the idea. Atlanta, you are ridiculous.

Anyway. By 5:30 I closed my last table and got out, waited FOREVER for Marta (so gracious I will be biking from next week on) came home, and passed the fuck out. Literally. I just woke up. Well, thirty minutes ago. I know I wasted my Saturday but I honestly need this time. I keep telling myself I need to be stressed out, because, well, I have so much shit to do, being:
1. Pack
2. Clean
3. Reading responses
4. Finals
5. Study for finals
6. Work
7. Move out
8. Move in
9. Other Misc.
And as you can tell, I didn't even take the time to organize that list. Either way, how is it that I've been trolling eBay for the past thirty minutes and NOT starting on my schoolwork?

I'm almost at 3 weeks of ~meat sobriety~

okay, humor me for a second

but for some reason I decided to type in "nude women" and "vintage pinup" on eBay. I guess I had this idea to make a new collage-type deal on my wall with vintage photos (instead of my disposable ones, I'm going to buy a photo box for those) and wouldn't you prefer to have nude ladies adorning your walls anyway? Plus, I bought some frames from Ikea and I've been wondering what the hell I'm going to do with them, anyway..Seller's description of above photo: "Nice puffy nips!" Bid on it here (but you will enter into a fierce bidding war as I am going to be the one to win it)

some days you just have a really good day

You know what I mean? You hang out with some good friends, smoke a bowl, eat some good food, poke around the city.. And plus, the weather is typically sunny, and breezy, and you just all together feel good. Outlook is always good and things are temporarily looking up. I'm finally making money, and I just realized today I could quite possibly save up enough for a car by the end of the summer. A nicer car, that will allow me to drive out of state. Maybe farther than that. Out of three states. Four, eight, a roadtrip maybe. I've been wanting to do that for a while..

Last time I mention the house, but really, going to have our own little version of Three's Company. Maybe like, Four's Company.


She is so cute.

just the way things unfold, and they way they mature into each day

I guess I feel a little bit older..

We speak in the store
I'm a sensitive bore
You seem markedly more
And I'm oozing surprise

But it's late in the day
And you're well on your way
What was golden went gray
And I'm suddenly shy

And the gatherin' floozies
Afford to be choosy
And all sneezing darkly
In the dimming divide

And I have read the right books
To interpret your looks
You were knocking me down
With the palm of your eye

This was unlike the story
It was written to be
I was riding its back
When it used to ride me

And we were galloping manic
To the mouth of the source
We were swallowing panic
In the face of its force

And I am blue
I am blue and unwell
Made me bolt like a horse

Now it's done
Watch it go
You've changed some
water runs from the snow

Am I so dear?
Do I run rare?
And you've changed some
Peach, plum, pear..

Last night Ben and I were talking about the new house (which we just signed the lease, thank you the fuck much) and well, Ben's a man so I obviously impose that he could be a man and help me build a bookcase? So my idea is to get the thickest and cheapest wood (I want to make a really blocky-bookcase. I haven't really seen much around and I tried to search the internet but all those furniture stores carry all that modern shit, so alas no luck) and then find a bunch of glass from mirrors from thrift stores, cut the glass (if that's possible?) and fit it onto the wood. And cover the wood with mirrors. So basically a bookcase covered in mirrors. But, that sounds overwhelmingly complicated (haha, I even mentioned we could put designs in it...), and Ben is only so much man, and I really can't ask for more- since he's already prime because of his cooking skills. So today I was just poking around different furniture websites that I'm aware of (does anyone know of good/cheaper furniture websites BESIDES ikea?) and I found this....It's wall shelving, so a method of attaching it to the wall might be a problem, or if our landlord/lease will even allow it (which, I'm just going to go ahead and consider yes, since the last tennants painted the walls and I KNOW and work with who used to live there now, haha) But seriously, all of that is sort of basic.

Also found this on Collette.
8 euros. I think yes?

gonna get my base face on

how are you so perfect? so easy? my only problem with you is that I don't get to see you as much as I'd want to. and that, in itself, isn't even really a problem with you just a problem with circumstance. and people always ask me, how you're doing, and how we're doing, and all I can say is good because, that's it. we're good, we are really good. these four months I've known you have gone by fast. and not one instance of doubt. Just. Easy.

I've realized some people out there are just figured out, and it doesn't take someone to reassure them perpetually in order for them to feel figured out and settled. You're it. You're completely figured out and it's allowed me to figure myself out, in turn. I've wanted someone like you, who didn't require my constant reassurance, nor attention. Just my companionship. My time. In that, we've settled. We're figured out.

I really wish that my mother was a punctual person. It sucks enough I have to go home on a Saturday night, just really, it's been 3 hours since she said she'd be here to get me. Would have preferred otherwise, because well, I sort of had plans, but, oh well, I miss my family.

Put deposit on house, check (although apparently our rent has gone up? once again?). Back at work, check.

At least this down-time has led me back to The Selby. Some of my favorites..

back to the pizza smell

Ok, this week/today is exponentially greater because I just got a job, at the Mellow Mushroom in Downtown. Or, rather, officially transferred and will begin working either this weekend or the next. Not nervous, only a tad because I know I'll slip up a bit and maybe it will take me some re-adjusting to those fucking computers again.

But, either way, can't wait to walk home each day with those pretzels. Also, going to make the deposit on the house ASAP.

All of my stress seems to have just evaporated.

How is it that, I know the people I've only known for so many months way better than the people that I've known for the longest? What about the people I should be close to? I used to be close to? Why does one remain a stranger, when they have full opportunity not to be one?

It's something I don't understand. I don't understand the gaps in conversation and full out silences when there's obviously so much going on in their head. I don't see what's come between this stranger and I, or actually maybe I do, but I don't see it's necessity and I'd really prefer for it to just blow off. Whatever it may be.

I honestly, right now, feel really taken for granted.

The Holy Mountain

The Holy Mountain, love/hate relationship.
Like you'd understand. You're a little too easy-pace, little tikes, entry-level bullshit.

Now going to snuggle in bed with boy and sleep in although I failed to do so.
soooooooon

april

already? Really? Four months into this year and so much has happened. I'm so satisfied right now.

Okay, first of all, Underground Atlanta is never a good idea. It just makes you a little bit depressed and there are always weird smells coming from it. But, the build up, which always goes like this, "don't want to go to class? Let's go spend the day in Underground!" always makes you really excited for some un-fucking-known reason. I did get the great idea to search for black leggings to start on a few projects, for myself and some friends, but, could not even find full length ones. Underground is bunk, enough said. I just had to add this in though- there is a Waffle House there now.

Today I FINALLY went rock climbing at GSU with Carly. Okay, I've free-climbed before and I've done some psuedo-bouldering, but nothing past that. I have to say though, I'm really good at it. I'm going next week again... but also considering getting a month's membership to Atlanta Rocks with Ben.. After climbing (oh, and we played Squash, which was hilarious to say the least.) Carly and I went to Sweet Auburn Market. Recommend... Really, Old 4th Ward has some shit to offer.

Viewing a house on Sunday. I'm actually really excited.

interested