i want to think these things because they are charming to think about
so charming that you're that way
i replace myself with passion
you are curious to me
close yet detached
intimate yet not involved
only i can not take my mind off these thoughts
they mean something greater/
what sense does it make to bother myself with someone so rare
rare to me, rare in my life, but that's all they ever will be
it is rare i find someone who wants to feel me as much as i want them inside of me. literal. only then can i give myself. i feel so restrained by words. i have been having trouble lately forming sentences. my writing makes no sense. my thoughts make no sense. i am slowly losing my abilities to a new learned restraint. self taught. i stain myself drunk. not that i piss myself, no, i mean i just ruin myself by it. it is like any other situation in my life. i pass myself to the intoxication; i sit in influence. a compulsion of set influences, hierarchy next to sex.
i am living through another channel, these days.
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