Sunday, May 31, 2009

Floating on a river alongside... I guess I might as well say it, White Trash really makes you think. Because of course, you're sort of helpless, in the sense that you're just floating, and although you can try to zone out by staring up at the trees or closing your eyes you'll always hear someone yelling 'Oh shit' about a small splash or you'll just float into a family. So you're sort of forced to think to yourself to maintain your own sanity, since you've lost your friends into the flow of the river.

But anyway, knowing that I've spent over a hundred dollars this week, and knowing that I will probably spend that much more next week, doesn't have me worried at all. Because everything seems sort of figured out. I'm having the best time of my life, I guess.

Animal Collective in Oxford, Mississippi this weekend. So fucking excited.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

i can't help but love this

Friday, May 15, 2009

Belle & Sebastian - Beautiful

I think I'd rather swallow it whole than spit it up. And when I feel it coming up, I send it back down with a glass of water.

And by swallowing it whole, I mean denying it. And by spitting it up, I mean talking about it. And my only method it seems to send it back down, is not with a glass of water but instead with every means possible to allow my mind to trail elsewhere. It's undeniable how much you can forget things when you're drunk, working, sleeping, stoned, eating, kissing, and maybe there's more but that's not the point.

(it finally hit me the other night.
i couldn't think. i just walked off. i didn't understand what I was doing, or why. and I heard you running towards me. and then you grabbed me, held me, i cried a little at first, but the harder you held on to me the harder i started to cry.

you asked, but i couldn't spit it up. all i could manage to say was that it was 'family stuff' and even that was hard for me to admit. family. tangled and mangled. or so it seems in my head. but you helped me swallow it back down.

you.)

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

i think it was in the dark when i realized it. when you came over to my house, late at night, just to sleep next to me. maybe it was before then, steps ahead, hours and days and conversations before this. or every night you've spent with me. when i wake up before you, and i get to look over next to you. or maybe when you wake up before me, slightly before me, and you'll always grab my hand and kiss it. and every other little instance of affection. how do you know always what i want?

and i think the more i think about it and put it all into perspective is when i realize it even more. i feel so much towards you yet i never really stopped to think about it.

the only thing is, i dont know yet how to tell you. should i, even?