Okay, today was really trying. Seriously.
I woke up to a really great morning with Ben. And of course at 12:30 I realize I left the car parked in the pay parking lot... Only less than an hour after the ticket had expired, my car was booted. Twice? Great morning shot with a shitty afternoon. I didn't even fight it. All I could think was, this really sucks, but whatever. The guy of course talks to me like I'm going to give him some sort of mouth. Really? My head is down, I said nothing to you other than to answer your dumb question of whether or not I understood why I had been booted. Right. Of course I was upset about it, but I wasn't rude to him at all.
But, Fat Old Man, I'm really strapped for cash right now and YOU just took fifty dollars of MY food money. Thanks a bunch, I'm glad at least you have a job and a car and you're getting by. But don't be an asshole to me when I'm putting up no contest.
Seriously though. I didn't cry at all. I remember trying to cry while I waited for Ben to meet me in the parking lot. It just didn't work. I was wearing my favorite dress and it felt so fucking good outside, and for some reason it didn't bother me.
I raced around the city because it's fun to do that, to drive 60 down Inman Park. Of course I roll the windows down. And of course the window is broken. Only we find that out after the window is completely down, and no way to pull it up. Seriously though, it sucked only because we were in the city with a wide open window. You might as well have broken into my car. Free range.
I kind of flipped out and pranced around the road with no shoes on (yet tights) and I really hope Ben's friend doesn't think I was angry at him or crazy. Because I wasnt.
All I really wondered was, Why? Why did this have to happen in these order of events. It's like this one day, when I closed the door on my pinky finger. I was with someone I shouldn't have been, so, Okay God, whatever, I get it. But today was a perfect day. And so what I had my Dad's car in Atlanta. I was having the perfect morning. And I would have had a simple day. I would have came home, no problem, to pick my father up from the Airport, then I would have enjoyed Carrabbas, then.. I'd come home to McDonough for a night to catch up on Flight of the Conchords.
But of course all of these things had to happen in order to set me back to that stressful feeling that, shit, things aren't always easy and simple and sometimes they fuck over perpetually.
All I can say is I've been really lucky. Things might have easily been too simple and too simply easy lately. I guess everyone deserves their share of bad luck and certain happenstances which, suck.
Things that are currently bothering me, and have been highlighted today:
-I'm carless, and jobless, and I feel worthless sometimes when I hang around and do nothing. I'm a pretty set individual, and I really don't enjoy feeling like I'm wasting my time or something. Because I'm currently in debt to my government, I owe (at this moment) $8,000 and I'm not saving up to pay it off or... Anything. All to live in the commons for a year. Sweeeet.
-I have no idea where I'm going to live next year. I want to move up to Atlanta this May, get a place, after I finish this semester, but I have no idea who I'm going to live with. I'd really like to live with Jamie, or Alison again, just because I have before and I know exactly what to expect, and we worked out as roommates for the most part (although we aren't close anymore..) but I get this feeling she's made other plans to live with someone else. That or she's not concerned about it. Jamie has mentioned to me about getting a place, but nothing further. Either way, I still don't know what I'm going to do.
-Family shit. Ugh. Money. Health.
Really though, I'm going to kill myself with this mindset. I know tomorrow I will wake up, and none of this will matter half as much as it did today. I will probably just sort of frown about it, but move on with my day. I have a lot going for me right now, and things are working. Spring Break just turned out to be less of a break, and more of a.......
Actually I don't know.
I'm really happy with him.
ps. just because I (smoke) again does not mean we can hang out. We never did, so why would we start? eh? Plus you probably have shitty goods.
pps. you are so annoying. It makes me laugh. Glad I don't have to deal with you anymore.
Yes, I will meet Bill Murray. And yes, since the weather is nice I plan on spending as much time as possible in Piedmont Park. Getting a job again, a bike, a hair trim, eating like a ~Queen~ continually, doing things when I want to, and riding public transit for the time being. Will purchase Before Sunrise and Jules and Jim as soon as affordable copies make their way onto Ebay. Thankful to finally add Sex and Lucia to it.
