so

i should probably stop wasting my time filling out those ridiculous npdor surveys i get in the mail all the time. how the hell do i even think i could win money from those things? complete waste of time.

this friday i move to atlanta. its kind of crazy, because this monday i start college. does this sound bad? i cant help it.... but im really excited to have a trader joes so close to me.

and thats about all i can say right now. i wont be able to talk about it now, if not never. but its something i cant face yet and its something i cant believe. what can i expect. the statistics show nothing but a failure rate for those kinds of things but with these circumstances? i cant bear them. i used to feel the weight of my family drag me down. now that familiar feelings has showed up again. i pride myself in being optimistic but fuck. fuck. what do you expect from me with these kinds of things?

this is too much for me right now.