Since you've had sex three times today, girl next to me...

I'm going to have to say something about this.

The first time it sounded painful. I heard banging against the wall and the cries of pain indicated it was going a bit rough. Maybe that's what your into? It was obviously what the guy was into. I heard him enjoying it. I wonder why I kept hearing a "shh" noise. Maybe he was trying to shut you up. Maybe it was because I started playing my music really loud, and maybe he felt a bit embarrassed.

The second time it sounded routine. Really, I'm used to you having sex by now. I hear some rustling, that oddly always involves someone hitting the wall, then your moans.

And this third time, which I think just ended and I'm sure you guys are either smoking a cigarette or getting ready to take a shower. You must of just had your first orgasm in your life, or something. You were fucking VOCAL. You kept repeating "Oh my God" as if you've either a. witnessed something amazing or b. had your first orgasm. B seems probable, but A could also play into it as well. You were really enjoying it.

What's funny is I'm completely jealous. I want my own thrill that makes me as encompassed as you were. You are all over the place enjoying yourself and I am here blogging about it. Really, it's cool. Hopefully one day my cries of pleasure reach your ears while you are listening to music that reminds you of your ex boyfriend and typing about Global Warming. I hope you enjoy it as well.

We share a special connection. Or something. Now it's my turn to one up you.